I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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