mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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