this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize