listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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