thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
