I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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