the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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