i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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