We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
