I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
