yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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