why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
