You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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