you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
