I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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