Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
