i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
