So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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