We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
