It's Friday. Sex?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
there is glitter all over my balls
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