it hurts more in the daytime
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
