need another drink. this is the easiest way
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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