I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
