I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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