Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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