I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
