That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize