i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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