please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
