so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
