It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
