Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Randomize
