I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
