I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
