I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
