How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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