Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
