how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
