I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
