you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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