uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
