I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is Oprah even human
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
