Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
