Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
only you would photoshop your dick
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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