you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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