I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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