dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
