wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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