i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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