So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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