I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
