she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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