i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
