Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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