New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
