people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
