I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
