I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
