I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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