she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
