there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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