do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How's work?
Spinning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize