I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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