and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize