so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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