dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
