Don't you send me to vm
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize