Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
