Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
