No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
