Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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