I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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